The Other Six Seconds: What Men Are Thinking About (Other than Sex)
The Other Six Seconds: What Men Are Thinking About (Other than Sex), Including Robot Women, the Proper Way to Handle our Fame in the Future, Spartacus, Our Picture in Field and Stream Magazine, Cape Colors, Getaway Cars, Whether Our Resume is Up-To-Date and the Usefulness of Pet Giraffes for Yard Work
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Labels: Humor
20 Comments:
Dave,
Way too funny . . .
Mine are a bit different - of course I wasn't officially polled . . .
Dennis
Hey, I like this little forum. And I like that you still read my Blog from time to time! YIPPEE!! :)
Coupland is so good. Have you ever read Chuck Klosterman??
Planning a heist? Heck, I've always like the thought of bringing in the bad guys trying to pull of the heist with my trusty Thompson and 1911. (Ok Jack Baur is my hero)
Rule the world (I've got a Napolean Complex that would give the Emperior a run for his money)
You forgot about cars, food, and how to get Oprah Winfry off the air.
Did I say food?
Loved the blog! Especially the superpowers thing. Guess, I thought I was the only... Ever since I was a kid I thought what it would be like to have Magneto's powers, especailly when I get stuck in traffic.
When you put together that heist team call on me--I'm in! ROTFLMHO!
the secret is out.
You forgot the fact that every other seven seconds we aren't thinking at all... "Bears, Bulls, ..., Polish Sausage..."
I agree almost to the letter with the exception of the sports thing -I dream of being a rock star or commedian. The basic gist is famous for something cool. Why not being famous for being a super hero who has a monkey as a sidekick and pulls of awesome heists he planned right before he quit his job
Wow, you nailed it. That's why I'm watching Batman Begins as I write this. BTW, I wouldn't wear a cape. I'd be all silver like Collosus. How cool would that be?! I'd also like to be a cowboy, be built like Brad Pitt, cool like George Clooney, preach like Billy Graham, and be an all-pro defensive tackle with the Chicago Bears.
Great stuff, Dave. Keep it up.
Mark Schnell
P.S. I know you like to jab at the hunters among us but don't forget — cows, chickens, fish, crustaceans, and pigs are God's creatures too! Is it more noble if you aren't the one who kills them? But then again, maybe you are a vegan now so you can jab at the hunters without be a hypocrite! ;-> Sorry, couldn't resist. Love ya man!
I'm also definitely in on the heist. Surely we could get 6 guys together for a pretty sweet heist.
Also, I often use one of my extra seconds for MacGyering: thinking how I would get out if I were trapped in this room using just the objects available within it.
Dude, this is so funny and so true. I'm going to break a man law and let my wife read this so she can understand me better.
Looks like we've got our heist team recruited.
Meet you all at 5th 3rd on Washington at 0800 hours.
John, bring your blowtorch.
-David
I don't know if this is still going or not but I thought of a few others. That great hallmark of acting, Dumb and Dumber, gave me a hint that I'm not the only one that daydreams about saving my wife and family from bad guys or thugs, I'm speaking of the scene where Lloyd is daydreaming about the restaraunt. I have often been somewhere and looked around and thought, "I could take that guy easily. If someone came in with a gun I'd hit them in the face with a tray that I threw across the room and them do a roundhouse kick ...
I also got a hint from a radio preacher the other day that I'm not alone in this one: I spend way too much time thinking about how much time I have left in life. As in: "Okay, I"m 37 now and when Kate graduates I'll be 54, I'll still be young enough to ..." Or, "Okay I'll have my Mdiv and Thm done when I'm 41 or 42 and my doctorate when I'm 46 to 48, will I still be young and cool enough to get a job with that?" And on and on it goes. Since my daughter Kate came into our family my life has hit the fast forward button like Adam Sandler in Click.
P.S. I"m up for the heist but I suppose I'll have to play the part of the big brainless guy that breaks down the doors and carries all the loot. Alright, if I have to.
I've not laughed so hard is a long, long time! This article was brillant! Thanks! Do we have your permission to print it off for our wives? I want her to know the truth too.
Wives are of course permitted this intel on the WMD of being a man.
-David
Nice work copying Dane Cook.
Yes, Anonymous, I've heard Dane Cook's bit on owning a monkey he dresses up in armor and fights, as well as his bit on performing a heist, where he talks about how cool it would be to use a machine gun--but if you listen to his stuff and read this you'll note it's quite different... with no lifted content from crazy man Dane Cook.
Besides I said these are things that ALL MEN THINK ABOUT, including myself and Dane Cook when it comes to monkeys and bank heists if not the rest of what I've said.
:-)
-David
Oh this was so funny, Dave! I'm married with 2 teenage sons, (and a male dog), and you've explained so much! I am in your debt.
By the way--women think about having super powers too, and being famous. I've written my Oscar/Grammy speech several times. If I had a super power, I would fly. My cape would be black, with a pink rose.
But I really, really don't want a monkey.
That confirms some peoples ideas about about the difference between people and monkeys!
Hilarious...especially the conclusion!
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